On Breaking Free from Expectations, Choosing Myself, and Finding My Own Path

There’s a part of me that has always known I was meant to live differently.

For most of my life, I tried to fit into the boxes others set for me.

To be the good daughter, the good friend, the good woman.

I followed the rules. I accepted the timelines.

I smiled when I was supposed to.

I showed up when others needed me, even if it meant I was quietly putting myself on the backburner.

But something in me—a quiet, unwavering voice—kept whispering, This is not your path.

And no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, it only grew louder.

The Courage to Let Go

Letting go isn’t easy.

It feels like leaving behind pieces of yourself that you’ve spent so long attaching to your identity.

It feels like standing on the edge, knowing you need to jump, but your feet are still planted firmly in the soil you’ve known all your life.

There were so many things I had to let go of.

The idea that I had to have everything figured out by a certain age.

The belief that I had to prove my worth through achievements, through marriage, through doing what others expected of me.

The weight of all the expectations—of being a woman, a daughter, or a friend—became so heavy that it threatened to break me.

But then I realized that holding on so tightly to these roles, these identities, and these timelines wasn’t keeping me safe.

It was keeping me small.

It was keeping me untrue to myself.

Letting go was not about losing something—it was about making space.

Space for me.

Space for my soul to breathe.

Space to hear my heart again, free from the noise of everyone else’s expectations.

Unwritten Rules: Rewriting My Own Life

We’ve all been taught rules we never asked for.

The “right” age to marry.

The “right” time to settle down.

The “right” career path to follow.

And for so long, I tried to follow those rules.

I tried to live within the lines drawn by others—lines that were never meant for me.

But now, I understand that those rules were never mine to follow.

They were made by people who feared freedom.

People who were afraid of living outside the mold.

People who believed in limitations because it was easier than breaking the boundaries.

But I’m not here to play by those rules anymore.

I’m here to write my own.

And my rules aren’t about what others think I should be.

They’re about what I know I’m meant to become.

My rule is:

I will marry when I feel ready.

Not because society says I should be married by 30.

But because I choose the partner who sees my soul, who loves me deeply, and who I can build a future with—not because it’s expected, but because it feels right.

My rule is:

I will have children when I am ready—when my heart and soul are aligned with the sacred gift of motherhood.

Not because of a ticking clock, but because I want to give life from a place of deep love, not obligation.

My rule is:

I will choose the career that feeds my soul, not one that simply brings external validation.

I will stop chasing what everyone else thinks is success, and start living a life that feels successful to me—rich with meaning, purpose, and joy.

The Sacred Journey of Saying No

And with this new understanding of who I am and what I want, I’ve had to learn one of the hardest lessons of all: how to say no.

No to the expectations.

No to the timeline.

No to the pressure to conform.

No to being small in order to make others comfortable.

Saying no is not easy when you’ve been taught to always please.

When you’ve been taught to always give.

When you’ve been taught to always smile, even when your soul is exhausted.

But learning to say no has been one of the most sacred things I’ve ever done for myself.

It’s been an act of self-love.

An act of courage.

An act of freeing myself from a life I never chose and stepping into one I’m creating for myself.

It’s the quiet rebellion that says: I am enough, exactly as I am.

I don’t need to shrink. I don’t need to prove myself.

I simply need to be me.

The Truth of Freedom

And this is the truth I’ve come to know:

Freedom is not about following a set path. It’s about creating your own.

Freedom is not about doing what others expect of you.

It’s about listening to the whispers of your soul and honoring them, no matter how different they are from the crowd.

It’s about the courage to say, I’m not following. I’m leading.

It’s about knowing that even when the world tells you it’s impossible, the only real limitations are the ones you’ve been told to believe.

So yes, I’ve learned to let go of the things that kept me tethered.

I’ve learned to rewrite my life, not according to society’s rules, but according to my soul’s calling.

And I’ve learned that the sacred journey of saying no is not about rejection—it’s about making space for what truly matters.

With soft fire and steady strength,

Seraphine Duong

I am not behind.

I am not lost.

I am not playing by anyone’s rules.

I am simply becoming who I was always meant to be.

And in the quiet of that becoming, I have found everything I need.